Niki Savage...

By day, she works in the Sussex County Hospital Office of Obituaries Library (SCHOOL :0) as the esteemed leader of Team Deceased, a crack unit of agents specialising in Fatality Management. By night, she's a beer drinkin', ball bustin', ass kickin', chocolate eatin', fit lookin', fun lovin', sea swimmin' Supercutie from Planet Babe...



On Tuesday 09/01/07, the population of Britain inexplicably dropped to it's lowest quantity since 1987. Meanwhile, somewhere in Brighton on the same day (having eaten 12 Weetabix drizzled in chocolate milk for breakfast that morning), the tenacious Niki processed a record number of fatalities.

On Thursday 28/01/07, for no apparent reason, the population of Britain suddenly skyrocketed to it's highest ever quantity. On that very same day, in a bustling city on the south coast of England, having rolled into work late, the hung over Niki was spending her day sending emails, reading magazines, listening to music & making a number of decidedly non work-related phone calls. That day, she processed precisely not 1 damn death.

But is this just mere coincidence? Or are the 2 factors INEXTRICABLY linked? Either way, I intend to waste a hell of a lot of time finding out...